Ergonomics, or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Terrible Posture

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Do you know what’s worse than sore shoulders from poor workplace positioning? Sitting still for more than five minutes.

I can’t do it! I sit, or try to sit, cross-legged on my desk chair – akin to a child sitting on the floor in kindergarten class. Or I sit the adult, lady-style of cross legged even though I’m typing on an “ergonomic” under-desk keyboard tray by twisting my body to the side. I slouch or lean back as my fidgeting desires. I partially slide off so my rear is parked at the edge. Sometimes I sit upright – so upright that my back is concaved to an extent I’m not sure is healthy (usually still with one angle upon the seat, under the opposite thigh).

Since genes, apparently, rule all, from how we’re going to die to some predetermined value of social worth (look it up!), I’m going to turn into my hunchbacked grandmother anyway. What else can I say? It’s time I embrace my destiny. SLOUCH POWER, my friends, SLOUCH POWER!

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