Always Look on the Bright Side of Days Off

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HAPPY JESUS WEEKEND! Last year I celebrated – on this night of Maundy Thursday – by holding a borderline offensive (most certainly sacrilege) party called “Jesus Died so we could watch Comedies and Musicals”, respectively Life of Brian and Jesus Christ Superstar. This year is back to normal – not throwing a party but watching those movies anyway and being profanely offensive more than usual. By, for example, calling this “Jesus Weekend”.

I appreciate the day off, so I won’t loudly complain that a religious observance is a public holiday. Perhaps by being so nonchalantly disrespectful of the holiness of the day I can stir up a movement within the Christian population to remove this holiday from the statutory calendar to ensure heathens won’t celebrate it in any way shape or form. It can be replaced with a day of observance for something more concrete, like celebrating the anniversary of the Titanic disaster, as a representation that we’re on a direly sinking ship. Jesus dying for our sins gives people a little too much hope for a redeeming future.

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