I’m not a dating person. I sometimes purposely seek out men because I want to sabotage something potential, but that’s rate. I’m quite happy by myself.
Part of the reason of that is I find myself incredibly witty and amusing.
That’s one trait I strongly expect from a partner – well, it’s two that stem from one: I want someone who is incredibly witty and amusing, and who finds me equally so.
I’m not perfect, and I’m not always at the peak of my game, but there’s underlying absurdity to much of me that even when I’m tired enough to fall into the slumps of bore I come home to a place that I put together at some point in time. The books I own (most of which I read, and trust me, I very much intend to cover the rest and more), the extensive collection of photos, the number of retired cameras I have sitting on a weird wall unit that’s not actually mounted on the wall – these all show sides of me that I’m not always in the proper context or energy to explain. Then there’s the gay pirate mix. With me there’s always going to be a gay pirate mix, and it can always be reflected in a Venn diagram – appropriately, as I’ll pretty much always have a math element to my interior decorating too.
But beyond how I’m filling up my new shelves, I read some of the things I come up with on Twitter or in text messages or even quickly enough to speak aloud in an organic conversation, and I find them to be distinctive in absurdly funny ways. Maybe I’m just flattering myself, blinded by my own narcissism, but I think I have enough character to make an interesting and engaging companion. But the men I meet, when I go out of my way to do so, are often boring. I also meet other seemingly mismatched couples of somebody who has a multi-dimensional personality and someone who barely says a word. Is it because they’re shy? Perhaps, but even opening up some kind of one-on-one conversation can reveal interests like local sports teams, trendy fashions, UFC matches, or cars. (I mean no disrespect to people who like any of those things – although with UFC there are likely sexual repression issues – but if there isn’t much else, there isn’t much at all.)
Where is the appeal in flat personalities? Don’t answer that; it’s rhetorical. Sometimes the boring person isn’t even very attractive, and I don’t want to think of the possible dehumanizing reasons otherwise good people might stick with them.
More importantly, how unappealing can my quaint excitement over a diverse range of topics be? Is being able to multiply any two two-digit numbers in my head based on verbalized logic a boner killer?