Drinking is just one month away. It’s one of the longer months, unfortunately, but nearly three months have passed since my last momentous binge and that keeps things in perspective. I should be worrying about the end of my youth –which has happened three times already, but the definition of “young” will keep on changing as an excuse for the older generations not give proper respect and opportunities to their children. It’s the end of what’s supposed to be one of the best decades of a person’s life – but again, the same goes for the half-decade of adolescence, which was extended to be a decade until the end of university, and the end of university is like a carrot on a string because we never have quite enough credentials to actually land the job we know we’re already capable of doing. Sorry for the run-on sentences. This is an issue of contention, but I guess that’s an attitude I have to grow out of in the next month.
I’ve been looking forward to my 30s since high school, quite honestly, because I predicted the path my 20s would go down – useless university, miserable job, terrible apartment, overseas travel, back to parents, back to school, slightly better job, slightly better apartment – and I met all of my modest, realistic, common-experience goals. Projecting into my 30s I should continue to grow as I intend – more intellectual fulfillment, healthier habits, better quality of possessions, more respect for choices and accomplishments. I’ve decided to leave “accomplished career” or “own property” or “more money” out of this, because I may turn around and opt for a simpler path if fate and fortune don’t cooperate with my hard work. I’m cynically starting to believe this is likely.
Maybe it’s counterintuitive to kick off my decade of personal glory with a drinking binge, but I haven’t been looking forward to this age for the sake of genuine maturity. It’s more for the sake of pretending, around other people who think their maturity is real. After all, my role models who have lived through most of their 30s already are some of the least mature people I know.