Greetings from…THE FUTURE!!!
No, wait, I mean the past. Right? This is using a future-dated feature so the me that writes is actually from a few days ago.
I did this because I’m on vacation. Getting the fuck away from my day job as the law entitles me to do doesn’t mean I should ignore my labour-of-love hobbies, particularly when I can project a hologram that doesn’t distract from my sightseeing, eating, drinking, and getting unusually friendly with strangers I’ll never see again. Chances are I’ll write from the wonderful technology that is my phone, because I’m going on a two-hour train ride and totally overshoot the buffer time I need.
Future-dating online publications to spread out producing content, which generally comes out in inspired spurts, can be a gamble in relevance and sensitivity around since-transpired events. I would require a vacation from vacations (and, of course, work) to sit at home and grasp the world events that are going on when I have free time, so there’s enough of a risk of tactless ignorance when I post anything political at any time. I’m going to steer clear of Egypt for a while. And Syria. And, well, we’ve all been ignoring Iraq for a while. And…well, you get the gist. It’s none of my business anyway, and as a whole we should’ve learned by now that “white people intervening” is a bad idea.
Incidentally I’m visiting my nation’s capital of Ottawa and one of the first white settlements in Canada, Montreal. What glorious testaments to the sense of entitlement of my people’s heritage. I can at least be sure that, between when I type this and when it shows up, my country will still be masking its colonial damage with maple leaves and fleurs-de-lys. Furthermore, in Montreal I will probably be entirely served in English. The Future!