Time Magazine should get their cover story ready months in advance to declare “The Vagina” as Person of the Year. Of course Ms. Vagina has been in the spotlight for longer – famously in the US campaign season of 2012 – but with tampons being confiscated at protests and the first British throne-heir to be delivered in the age of the being born today there has been quite a level of influence from the Vagina in our global politics.
The Vagina has deserved this for a long time. It’s not just the controversies or big wins of this past year – the vagina has been a major player in all world events since well before Time Magazine ever started. The very invention, purely innovative and unique, of the bipedal thigh spreading is quite the human accomplishment – and all thanks to natural selection guided by the Vagina.
This is not the first royal baby to come from the Vagina. Most have, in fact. The Vagina is so powerful that even most gay men, naturally averse to this type of figure, have been touched by it (literally) as early as birth. Misogynists have the Vagina to thank for their means of coming to life AND for their sanctimonious purpose in life. Even the Virgin Mary had to use the Vagina, as much as the Catholic Church likes to mask its dignified role in the foundations of the world’s largest religion.
Why wait for Time Magazine to come out in December? Let’s celebrate the Vagina as we should celebrate life – frequently, respectfully, and hygienically.