I’m a terrible conversationalist. I have a bad habit of not completing sentences. I say odd things to people and extend small talk more than they’d like. I use much of the array of non-communicative words that are now ubiquitous in everyday speech – “like”, “you know”, “I don’t know”, “yeah, but” and so on. I’m putting my foot in my mouth more frequently now, perhaps due to changes in the chemical makeup of what I ingest. I elaborate too much on the background of things, which has prevented me from getting jobs and thus contributed a small slice to my miserable pie chart. I need to be trained in conversation.
First of all, if I could get rid of the space-filler “umm” and “so” and all of the other useless stuffing I would sound much more impressively smart and decisive, suggesting leadership skills that could get me more respect and in better places. It would make me sound more mature with more sophisticated thinking. And the content will matter, so I can still say things that aren’t mature or sophisticated but come off sounding smart.
Second, I want to subdue my tongue and give the bare minimum in background. It encourages much more confidence to be asked to elaborate than to be asked to shut up. It also limits the time I have to say something stupidly offensive without thinking, a win-win situation for everyone who has ever had to hear me.
Third, I want to use this appearance of intelligence and mindful brevity to find classy ways of escaping conversations with other people who suffer from this worse than I do now. I acquired these flaws from the influence of society around me, but it’s my responsibility to change myself to ways I know are better.
So I guess my next self-improvement project is, I don’t know, talking, like, smarter and stuff. I’m not respected much as an adult yet, so…