Exterminating the Koala Infestation


Effective Sunday afternoon, the computer I’m writing this on will be decommissioned.

It’s seven years old. It would be nearly seven and a half years old, but its original incarnation went wonky within the six month warranty period and it was wiped clean in the early weeks of 2007. Its name is Koala Infestation. Naming computers after Mitch Hedberg jokes has been a tradition ever since my brother got a computer that looked like a cheese grater. The original incarnation was actually named Steamboat but I decided to change it when it came back to me wiped clean. Koala bears, why do you have to be so far away from me?

kitowerThe screen resolution is 1024×768 on a 15″ monitor. It runs on Windows XP. It lasted manifold longer than my previous computers, although perhaps that’s because I sparsely used it for a period of time when I got a functioning laptop and wasn’t often playing The Sims 2. You can tell I got it when I was in my mid-20s when I was still enthusiastic about t-shirts.

But it’s slow. The screen is small, and it’s not made for a bigger monitor. Its operating system is nearly obsolete. I’m a big girl now – not an underemployed fresh university graduate living in a shitty apartment. I live in an okay apartment now, across the street from the old shitty apartment, and I have a bit more education and a far less underemploying job.

It’s time. It’s time to back up all I have that’s important on here, then unplug the thing and take it apart. It’s time to wipe out this hard drive and take it out to pasture, perhaps to a place that can refurbish it for classrooms or nonprofits. Come Sunday night, it will be time for Coca Cola in a Glass Harmonica.


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