Patronizing Patriarchy


Yesterday I was considering on writing a post that parodied an article that is among the lowest territory written words can go. (I’m not linking. It’s that bad.) It was on a website that gives Wall Street tips, but since their audience is probably active supporters of capitalist patriarchy there was essentially a men’s-Cosmo type article that listed 50 – FIFTY – things women need to know about their man.

It was such a blanket generalization that merely stole things from the lowest brow collection of romantic comedies in Hollywood. It did a terrible disservice to men and women because it painted men with the same brush and spoke to women about how we’re expected to allow men whatever they want. It ignored same-gender relationships or transgender people; it assumed there was a uniform sexual drive and desire in everyone, and that uniform sexual drive and desire was men wanting blow jobs so women should just comply.

Moment of honesty here: I’ve never known a grown man to not be able to open a plastic cup of Mott’s apple sauce. That’s not misandry; it’s facetiousness towards the powerful and a hint that MAYBE if you can open your own cup of apple sauce you are also capable of washing dishes and grocery shopping, and that MAYBE if you take a good hard look at your workplace you’ll see just how much more the average woman does and yet gets nowhere because she doesn’t have a jib to be cut in the ol’ boys club.

My response to this becomes saturated at the neck of the bottle by the immediate response to the white middle to upper class demographic fog this article is written in. I can’t even begin to give time, space, and justice to everything that it ignores – different circumstances for different cultures, different expectations of women of colour, barriers of class and abilities, and a long, long list of more specific sources of discrimination that this ignores or spits in the face of. But clearly, on a website about tips for stock market monsters on how to get super rich with no sense of ethics, they do not care about real people. They care about themselves and possibly the women they’re willing to fuck, who have to meet standards you can only understand while on cocaine.

The existence of these thoughts, let alone being put into writing, is a disservice to every human being. No, let me correct myself – it’s FIFTY disservices to every human being. This includes the person who wrote it, because he could’ve spent the time writing this in therapy. Take care of yourself, misogynist writer dude. Seek help for yourself first, and then write to help others.


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